Since online writing had been scarce lately, only now do I bring you the obligatory blog post for the semestral break that comes in handy as a reference and/or remnant of the days long past.
I. Hell hath no fury than a Marionette scorned
It was eleven-thirty in the evening, and the answers in the Ethics final exam were due in thirty minutes. Everything’s a blur; I didn’t know what the right thing to do then, my mind in an irrational haze. I heard something from an acquaintance in the blogosphere (who will be now called The Arrogant One) that was too much of a blow my immature-slash-touchy self had readily taken offense. Admittedly, I wept, hard, with fury and self-pity. Something I had not done in the few months. Had I not been in constant physical and emotional stress at that moment, I would have been stronger enough to handle it. But, hell no, the cosmos seemed to have conspired against me, and struck just when my baggage was just so full I would have tripped off in an instant. The venting helped nonetheless, I felt better afterward.
I told that incident to some friends, not only because I wanted to, but also because I had to hear their take. Seb mostly felt the way I did. Lennox just laughed it off, dredging up age-old memories of me with The Arrogant One saying that the latter couldn’t have been that serious with it. And Shakespeare… I don’t remember him comment about it, not that I forgot him saying any. I suppose he’d rather not hear yet another of my babbling about The Arrogant One. Shakespeare didn’t like him in the first place. An irrational animosity, you tell me. Sometimes it’s kind of easing to think that he’s simply jealous of The Arrogant One. HAHAHA.
II. And now for something really CHEESY
So I learned that Shakespeare has switched to another network. We had an exchange of messages, and after sometime it went something like this:
SHAKESPEARE: May bf ka na? Hehe
MARION: Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Duh. Anong klaseng tanong ‘yan?
SHAKESPEARE: May nanliligaw na ba sa’yo?
MARION: *cringe* Manliligaw? Eewk. Grabe din ah, para akong nasa showbiz talkshow.
SHAKESPEARE: *said something I couldn’t recall, then added*…nga pala, basted ‘ata ako.
So I was like, DUH. WHEN HAS HE LEARNED ASKING ME THOSE KIND OF PERSONAL QUESTIONS? And I might as well ask why he brought up that BASTED thing out of the blue? Was it just my wishful thinking or did we get the same impression, dear reader? (Assuming there’s any.)
So if you don’t mind my sharing, Shakespeare is one of the fortunate few from high school who knows me better than I do, he’s The Best Friend… and The First (and Unrequited) Love. I suppose you don’t want to get me started with the long story I never wanted to be told, so suffice it to say that I was downright unnerved when I thought I knew what he meant by asking those questions. I wasn’t quite sure how to react on that and silently thanked him for ending the conversation by saying that he’d better sleep.
Two nights later, we caught up with each other again through texting. The ever-coward me surfaced and I decided not to let him anywhere near my affections. Love is fatal, and I am not ready to die yet. So I pushed him away through my little means of intimidation and arrogance, and voila. He hates me now with a passion. Just like the old days. A bit confused, I consulted some Seth Faustine, the authority when it comes to matters of the heart, about it, and he said:
“…may mga bagay talagang kahit ilang beses nating itanggi ay babalik at babalik para ipaalalang nag-eexist sila… kahit naman kasi itulak natin yung taong, let’s say, crazy-over-you e babalik pa rin yan, if what he feels is real. Tsaka dapat we provide chances. Who knows diba? Ayun pala ang daan patungong Quiapo.”
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